Shit, let's just take this one step further and mix the two: Mixing absurdly different drinks: never a bad idea. Whether they want to drink at home or drink with friends, there are … Thanks for connecting! Because the combination of lemon and mint seems like a pretty refreshing one, my initial idea was to save Twiss as the last soda on the list. Posted on the 22nd of January 2015. I guess I could have another. to the generic fake-citrus taste of a store-brand Sprite. This is partly because I'm shamelessly and irredeemably European and partly a direct administrative consequence of the Office Christmas Party That Cannot Be Mentioned (even though the portal was open just for a minute at most, and almost everyone's eyebrows eventually grew back). As a result of these various errors in my methodology, I am rapidly beginning to feel like a big fat lump of fructose-infused fecal matter. So I filled my fridge with a host of drinks I've never had the opportunity to taste: Then, as soon as they had cooled down, I might have accidentally drank them all. This, friends, is a goddamn beer. Not only does the very concept of fucking grape soda send my taste buds packing, but the can's not exactly shy about insinuating that its contents are borderline hazardous. Because I have to finish this drink anyway, and because I figure it can't be made worse than it already is, I opt to enjoy the last half-can in the shower. Hehehehe. This one kind of sounds like a sex toy, doesn't it? These two sound like they're made by brothers, the good Barr and the evil Barq, and at dusk they meet halfway between their respective factories and duel with whatever it is imaginary soda makers use to stir their fare. Not only does the very concept of fucking grape soda send my taste buds packing, but the can's not exactly shy about insinuating that its contents are borderline hazardous. The first tang of Twiss Lemon With a Twist of Mint is actually quite palatable, the hint of mint bringing a pleasant twist (ha!) No, I know it's supposed to be yellow, but man, there's no reason to suppress creativity. Giant whisks? Once, in Hawaii I went to a “Native Village” re-creation. Bailey is mixed with vodka and lemon juice. Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Because that's what San Pellegrino Limonata tastes like when the only flavor your mouth is used to is "sickly sweet." When it comes to putting together gorgeous cocktails, we’re kind of a big deal. Hold on. For more from Pauli, check out The 5 Most Ridiculous Drinking Myths You Probably Believe and The 6 Creepiest Lies the Food Industry is Feeding You. It's like a liquid version of elevator muzak: far from sensational but palatable enough unless it's stuffed down your throat 24/7. Is this where you have taken me, sugar overdose? Lager. Our resident food expert has traveled the world tasting the best of the best. You know how the Gremlins melt into a puddle of bubbling, liquid goop when exposed to sunlight? Because of this, my access to many delicacies readily available to Americans is somewhat restricted. However, as this downright awful selection shows, some people just really need to step away from the shaker. Luckily, at this point I manage to summon enough presence of mind to eat something, because come on. continuing search for the best things to eat on the planet, 127 Years Without a Male Cover Model, Until Harry Showed Up, Experts Reveal 8 Ways to Unwind and Relax When Life Gets Too Stressful, Some of the Best Live Entertainment of 2020 May Be at Your Polling Place, Support Indie Winemakers With This $50 off Nakedwines.com Deal, It's Time to Take a Note From the Finns and Start Drinking In Your Skivvies, 12 Alcohol Brands Showing Their Pride in Support of the LGBTQ+ Community, Get $15 Off Drizly Alcohol Delivery This Memorial Day Weekend, Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. I think it might be the worst non-alcoholic drink I've ever had. OK, one more. This is my story for when someone asks me how on Earth did I ever willingly ingest Twiss, and I'm standing by it. But sometimes, a man's natural curiosity and the need to binge on dangerous doses of high-fructose corn syrup in the name of research overrides all other instincts. As you may or may not know, my usual base of operations is on a completely different continent from most other Cracked people. ... Unsurprisingly none of these dreadful creations made it onto our drinks menu. No, it can't. The Sticky Scandals Of Brooklyn's Maraschino Cherry Factory, The 5 Most Ridiculous Drinking Myths You Probably Believe, The 6 Creepiest Lies the Food Industry is Feeding You, 5 Fan Fiction Sex Scenes You Won't Believe Exist, Here Are Marvel's Bonkers '80s Thanksgiving Floats; You're Welcome, Bruce Willis Apparently Tried to Ruin a Major 'Game of Thrones' Scene, The Creepiest Dish In French Cuisine (Is Eating A Lil' Bird In One Bite), The Rude Statues That Caused Athens' Democratic Downfall, The Early Obstacles On Joker's Path To Comic Icon. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without explicit permission. Yet, despite the bitterness, the drink turns out to contain Coca Cola-levels of sugar, thus increasing the sweetness-induced energy barrage rushing through my system and yet again affirming my adamant, scientifically accurate belief that sugar is just cocaine with glasses and a fake mustache. However, since this is par for the course for most every item on this list, I'll just let it slide. The combination of vodka and tomato juice is bad enough, and drying your mouth out with the napkin isn’t going to help matters. The brave soul that pops open a can of A&W Cream Soda is greeted by a dubious, fake-vanilla stank. JOIN THE SQUAD. Look, this is not what I asked from life. It almost manages to take my mind off the fact that I'm still about to plow through several cans of overly sugared "refreshments.". Top 10: Worst Foods In The World. Share this. Basically, it's the sex-with-the-ex of soft drinks. In general, alcohol and alcoholic drinks aren’t good for the health. Ranking every type of alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tried from worst to best. As you will notice many times during this article, I am the best photographer. We filled it with loads of awesome drinks instead. To make things even worse, this is the point of what I'm by now calling "The Experiment" where the combination of the heat and the Juggernaut of all sugar rushes is forcing me to take a break and go cool myself in the shower. This is not a Jackass thing any more than it is a Morgan Spurlock one. What you're about to read was an accidental lovechild of a hot summer day, a soda-stocked fridge, and a mind that really should have known better, documented here solely because I have a dangerous brain disease that requires me to spread all my idiocy for the world to see. Hold on, I just said I quite enjoyed the first two sips. Copyright © 2005-2020. Fuck you right back into the abyss, foul creature. Then again, are those answers really mutually exclusive? Ease of drinking: 9/10. The 10 worst cocktails ever created. No. A really bad sex toy, one of those floppy cheap things with a motor that's aaaaalmost dead. From cocktails we wish had never been invented to beer fermented by human saliva and everything in between, our world tour takes in some of the most disgusting alcoholic drinks out there. I realize this is technically an Italian drink, but there are only so many sugary concoctions a man can gulp down before collapsing into a hyperactive pile of twitching flesh, and I can already feel that moment lurking far nearer than I'm comfortable with. Yet, because I'm nothing if not determined (and also a certified dumbass), I choose to press on. However, after a couple of sips the novelty wears out with a vengeance. The Dr. Pepper-like drink was colored green, infused with ginseng, and bore the SoBe lizard mascot on the bottle. You can find out what by following him on twitter. Shares. 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